Welcome to 2018. Where the hopes are high and the expectations are low! HAHA!

But seriously … that’s how I feel after a doozy of a 2017. I haven’t talked about it much (maybe even at all), but I struggle with primary hyperparathyroidism. Basically, I have a tumor on one of my four parathyroid glands. This sends my blood calcium skyrocketing, and leaves me to deal with all sorts of icks and ughs. Most of which is my energy … which is zero a lot of the time. I also feel shakey, nauseous, have bone pain and headaches, and just generally feel like shit!

So that was my 2017 in a nutshell. Never have I looked back at a year and thought – well that was total crap. Until now. It just wasn’t good.

So now, I’m not sure what to expect from 2018. I have an appointment with a surgeon on Jan. 10 to discuss surgery, which is the only option – medication and lifestyle change won’t help me. I cannot tell you how EXCITED I am for the appointment and to be one step closer to possibly feeling better! To have a better year would mean the world to me. I cry just thinking about the possibilities. But I also cry thinking about having another shitty year.

So that leads me to “so what now?” What can I do in the moment? What can I focus on instead of the uncertainty of the year to come? This is difficult for me – but I’m learning to find joy in the journey.

The days I’m feeling good, I do good things. I play with the dogs, take walks, enjoy the new environment I’m living in (oh yeah, I moved to Alabama, by the way!), and I’m happy. On the bad days, I find a reason to smile and try to move as much as possible to keep the icks and ughs at bay. And all the while, I’m going to focus on eating food that will fuel my body, and will hopefully make more good days than bad.

So that’s my plan for 2018 – to find joy in the journey.